The Weekend Of Our LIVES
by Ratt9
Summary: There is something very wrong with L, and Matsuda can't figure out why the detective is acting so unstable. Whatever it is, though, it certainly can't be good. A mix of romance, humour, and tragedy.


It was a Friday morning. Despite the rain falling from the sky in torrents, the mood of the Kira Task Force was fairly upbeat. So upbeat, in fact, that Soichiro was even whistling, and Aizawa was singing along (which is actually quite awkward, if you think about it). Even Mogi, strong and silent Mogi, seemed ever so slightly jubilant that day. And it was all because of L.

The only one who wasn't in the mood for happiness was, surprisingly enough, Matsuda. A total contrast of his normally ecstatic character, Soichiro's whistling and Aizawa's singing was sending the young cop onto the downward spiral of depression—and it wasn't just because of Aizawa's horrific pitch and utter inability to hit the right notes.

No, it was because he was the only one on the task force who was not allowed to take the weekend off. Ryuzaki had surprised them all by revealing that due to their hard work throughout the week, they were each allowed to have the rest of the weekend to themselves. Lucky, lucky, lucky.

Except for Matsuda. Oh, it always seemed to be poor Matsuda. He was fairly sure he was L's favourite little victim.

"Everyone may leave until Monday," L had said, "…except for Matsuda. He will be spending that time assisting me. Coffee and such. I am giving Watari a break, too."

Matsuda slumped in his chair as everyone else cleaned their (barely-used) stations and prepared to go home. Soichiro shot a sympathetic look in his direction as he passed by, which was more than Matsuda could say for the others.

_Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot._

"Are you sure that it's okay if we leave, Ryuzaki?" Soichiro asked, turning in the doorway. He seemed pretty eager to get out of there—he was probably just asking out of politeness and all. Matsuda let his head clunk against the desk.

"Yes, Yagami-san. I am certain. After all, I do have Matsuda here to help me," L assured, not even looking up from his paperwork.

"…If you say so." And with that, the police chief all but clambered out the door, once again whistling his happy tune.

The rest of the task force now off enjoying their vacations, Matsuda looked up at L with dead eyes. He normally liked work. He did. He really did. But, he was just so _sick _of the abuse he was shown by his co-workers that he was just about ready to scream. With a voice blank and unenthusiastic, he asked dully, "So, Ryuzaki, what are we going to be working on?"

The cop was nearly startled out of his seat when L responded with a heightened enthusiasm in his voice that Matsuda wouldn't have even thought possible for him. "_We _aren't going to be working at all, Matsuda, for Matsuda-san and I are going to be having the weekend. Of. Our. _LIVES_."

That's right. He quite literally paused after each word. L doesn't do things like that. He just _doesn't_. There was obviously something wrong with him.

"I'm…not entirely sure I understand."

"You didn't _actually _think that we were going to be working on the _Kira _case this weekend, did you, Matsuda?"

Matsuda still didn't really know what was going on, and now he was getting kind of freaked out. He wished the others hadn't left already. He wasn't sure what to do if L suddenly turned all rabid and lunged at him or something. "I…did?"

"That is where Matsuda-san is quite wrong. We are going to have the weekend of our _LIVES_."

"Yes…" Matsuda let himself trail off as he eyed the detective warily out of the corner of his eye. He was backing up a bit just in case L decided to do anything weird. Or, in this case, weirder. "…you've already said that. But I still don't know what that means, exactly."

"I just told you. We are going to have the weekend of our lives. Our _LIVES_."

"Erm, repeating the same thing over and over isn't going to help me understand it any better," the man pointed out, his tone cautious.

"I am well aware of that. I merely like saying it. It sounds…nice." L's voice seemed to just melt with that last word.

"Erm…"

"_So! _Matsuda! What do you propose we do first?"

Matsuda looked nervously at his feet. "Uhm…I don't…know?" By this point, Matsuda was pretty sure L was on drugs.

He could only hope.

If L was acting this way without drugs, Matsuda feared for the investigation. Not to mention his own wellbeing.

L frowned. "Matsuda, I am L. As L, we can get away with just about anything—moving random policemen on pointless tasks, calling Kira childish names on the jumbotron, fabricating a news story…oh! That's perfect. Matsuda-san, together we shall fabricate an outrageous news story and release it to the public!"

Well, the detective was his superior and all, so Matsuda couldn't exactly argue with him. "Er…uhm…sure?"

L grinned. "_Perfect_." He took out a pen and paper, and wrote his opening sentence as, "Something strange is going down in the Kanto region of Japan."

"Matsuda, what should we write about?"

"Uhm…Kira?"

"No! We will avoid all things about Kira. Trust me. It's not wise to go around spreading Kira rumors. No, we shall make up a random person, and then we shall talk about something odd that happened to him. Or rather, what _supposedly _happened to him. First, let's come up with a name for this unfortunate man. Can you think of any names?" L looked at him expectantly.

"Uhhh…Tomio Yoichi?" Matsuda supplied, using the name of some bully who had victimized him in high school. He didn't really care about what this imaginary person was going to be named. He was in a bit of a daze.

"Hm, sounds fair enough," L agreed after a moment of thought, jotting down something—the name, apparently—onto the piece of paper. "So. How about…on his way home from work, 'Tomio Yoichi' is assaulted by a flying…baseball bat. No—ice cream cone? Or what about a pony? Hmm… 'On his way home from work, Tomio Yoichi was assaulted by a flying pony.' How does that sound?"

"Umm…excuse me for saying this, Ryuzaki, but… it would make you sound _seriously fucking mentally retarded._"

L blinked at him, seemingly not even registering the insult. "Oh, I see. Alright, then. We'll come up with something else."

* * *

><p>Matsuda sighed. There was something not quite right with the way Ryuzaki was acting.<p>

Well, _obviously_.

But still.

He wasn't quite sure how he was supposed to deal with this. Should he phone the others? Disturb them on their days off?

What would he even tell them? '_Ryuzaki wants to have the weekend of his life and he expects me to have fun right along with him! Save me.'_

Oh, that summed up his feelings about the situation perfectly, but it certainly wouldn't sound very good if he said that aloud. "Help! Help! Save me from the dreaded FUN!"

Only it wasn't fun. Not really. Ryuzaki was losing his mind.

Matsuda wished he knew where _Watari _was, at least—the older gentleman had always been a comforting voice of reason—but alas, L's caregiver was nowhere to be found.

A pity, because Matsuda feared for his fucking life.

Currently, the detective was baking a cake. Matsuda sighed deeply and decided to go make sure he didn't burn the entire building down.

* * *

><p><span>Short, I know. Sorry. More chapters to come. What do you think? I'd really like some feedback. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed.<span>

~Ratt Kazamata, 12/21/2011

PS: Can anyone guess why L is acting this way? Think outside the box!


End file.
